...and then there were...

I knew almost immediately.  Hazel was watching a video of a bunch of kittens hopping gleefully about, and the emotional reaction I had to this silly clip that I've seen about a billion times before simply didn't leave any room for doubt.  I needed to be preparing for the arrival of a brand new bundle of joy.

That was weeks before we were even in the testable zone of a pregnancy...and left me plenty of time to panic the hardcore panic I didn't know I had in me when it came to the subject of babies.  You see, I had JUST made the decision that I was happy - really happy - with our family as it was, and I felt my life going in a strong, awesome direction, and I had just let the idea of having another child go, seeing the dangers - both physical and psychological - outweighing the possibility of another baby by just enough to end the 'baby' chapter of my life behind me as Hazel toddled away from her own babyhood.  To whit, I actually know the date of conception this time, which I haven't before, and wouldn't you know, it was the EXACT DAY that I had consciously made the decision that I didn't want any more biological children?  I guess the universe disagreed with my personal decree, and evidently this baby was Meant to Be.

Which is why, though panic I did, I am thrilled about this baby.  I went through a few very intense days of emotional roller coaster riding, feeling like this just can't happen, being angry, confused, scared...but I came through it.  We know now, after two such adventures of welcoming new children into our lives, that each individual child comes with so much new joy and fulfillment and growth, and an entirely new prespective on life...I have no illusions that this will be easy, but we are confident that this child will bring us just as much happiness in his or her own way, and that whatever hardships we have to endure will be well worth it. I cannot wait to meet our new little one, who will make his or her debut sometime this fall while we're in DC.

Cadence and Hazel are thrilled to welcome a new baby into the family.  They are such amazingly good kids (and awesome helpers, I might add!).  This kid is lucky to have two such loving, capable, and no doubt doting Jiejies in his or her life.

Welcome to this crazy mix, Baby Yu #3!!!

Kids Sing!

I really do have big plans to get back to posting regularly, but until I figure life out, may I offer something uplifting:

James and I gave Hazel a little electric keyboard for her birthday yesterday, and both she and Cadence have been having a ball with it.  I recorded them playing and singing together and thought I'd share some of the results with you all...may it make you smile!!

First, they kick it off with one of their favorites:



Then they follow it up with an old standard:



Then they returned to Liang Zhi Lao Who, but with a twist:



And, finally, a little raffi, although Hazel decided she was done before the final verse, so instead I stuck in some footage from a 'performance' they gave me a few weeks back. Enjoy!

Music

Music.

Music has consistently been a muse in my life, but not one I have ever been able to fully acquaint myself with. It's somehow deeply tangled with whatever self worth issues I have wrestled with over the years- when it comes to creating it myself, there is no happy medium with for me, singing especially: it either makes me uncontrollably giddy and happy, or it sends me to the other end of the spectrum and I feel wretched, like an incapable failure, and it makes me want to hide under a rock until I die.

 I'm trying to claim the benefits of embracing musical existence, and face down the negative factors. As a part of that, I want to share this weird little clip with you. Normally I'm horrified to share anything that isn't perfect, what with the self worth stuff all in there. But This, I want to share anyway. It's not great. But it's me, (and Kelly, who inspired me in posting her original in the first place, with a similar disclaimer) and I'm putting it out there.

 My sister Kelly posted a video of herself performing 'Mad World' on her blog shortly before she left the country for several months. (She just up and went to New Zealand. She's hoping to get a job working on a vineyard or something. Kick around for a few months. Maybe come back for college in the fall, maybe ride out the year and attend university later.) I love the song, and miss my sister, so I thought I'd turn it into a duet, even though she's not here to help me.

Since she didn't intend it as a duet, I did my best to match her style & performance...it's not perfect, but its not bad for a little spur of the moment tribute!

 I also wanted to add something visually to distinguish this video from her original, however, since hers was a simple shot of her hands moving across the keys, and I wasn't playing an instrument, I didn't have a similar visual. I figured a shot out my window on this cloudy morning would fit the atmosphere of the song decently well.

Miss you Kellebelle!
Look forward to hearing from you soon.

The mouths of not-quite babes

I am LOVING this overly talkative stage that Cadence and her peers are in at the moment.  Whether it is playground antics, thoughtful musings, or "DUH mom it's obvious!" explanations, they come up with the most amazing stuff.  Here are some examples of each:

A few months ago, I accompanied Cadie B's class to the playground, and while I was there I overheard the following conversation between two of her four year old classmates:

Isabel (runs up to Orion and says):  Excuse me, but are you part of the world?

Orion: Yes.

Isabel: Ah. Well then, I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to conquer you!

(exit.)

Earlier today, after a long, festive hide-and-seek tag type game, Cadence spontaneously turned to me and said, quite thoughtfully:

Cadence: Some four year olds are really big, but they're not very responsible.  But I don't think I'm like that.  I think I'm a very responsible child.  Do you think so, Mama? That I'm not a not-responsible four year old, but a very responsible four year old?

Why yes, Cadence, Yes- yes I do.

And then this evening, well, I'll provide just a snippet of the very long, involved conversation that took place over the course of several hours that was SUPPOSED to be bedtime.  Cadence had successfully gotten James and I off on a tangent by asking about sleep cycles, but she was quick to reign us back in when the conversation risked moving on without her, and she did so in the most bone-chilling way she could have in the eyes of her arithmaphobic mother who is already intimidated by her baby's smarts:

James:  How long would you say my naps usually last?

Kate:  about 3 hours?

James:  Maybe I got through 2 sleep cycles per nap? Or I just have really loooong sleep cycles?

Kate:  I don't know, you'd have to talk to a sleep specialist about all that.

James:  I've actually wanted to do a sleep study - 

Cadence (clearly annoyed):  MAMA! I've been waiting for my turn to talk. I was going to tell you that baba's naps are 180 minutes long.

...

So yeah, either a mathematical genius that scares the crap out of me, or a reeealllllly good guess!

THE FLU, part II

...well, it was kind of MOSTLY over...we made it through that night alright except that Hazel woke up at 4 am thinking it was time to paaaart-aaayy! and the next day both kids were fine in the morning and got increasingly fussy throughout the day, and then spent that night being fussy, fidgety, whiney, and NOT sleeping really, I think because of opportunistic upper respiratory bugs with the sniffling coughing yuck which means I didn't sleep, either...Sunday we tried to lay low, and thought we were finally in the clear...until James' belly rebelled and I spent the night waking up with him. At least the girls are ok, now, I thought, until early early in the morning when Hazel unexpectedly vomited ON MY FACE AND IN MY HAIR...and James had moved the bowl so I couldn't find it and by the time he woke enough to figure out what was going on and retrieve it well...it was time for yet another bed sheet, pajama, pillowcase, and blanket change.  Oi. The next night  - last night - I stayed up after the ladies went to sleep to catch up on some work and such, so went to bed late.  The night itself was a bit restless but ok, until the girls again rose at the crack of dawn, and I haven't had a full (or even half?) a night's sleep since last week sometime. (I bet you can tell just reading this.  I doubt I'm at the peak of my wordsmithy skills.)

Here's hoping tonight will be better.  (nevermind that Cadence JUST finally fell asleep about 10 minutes ago.)

THE FLU

We made it 4.5 years of parenting without encountering the horrors of the dreaded Stomach Flu, so I really can't complain, but when it hit, it hit HARD.



Night one: Hazel wakes up horrendously sick.  She recognizes her lunch in the mess and spends the rest of the night recounting how her "noms came back!" and that it hurt and made her cry. Over the course of the (very long) night, we went through every bed sheet, mattress pad, towel, blanket, and set of pajamas in the house.  Cadence somehow manages to sleep through everything, even when James had to physically relocate her to change sheets while Hazel was shrieking bloody murder.

Day one:  It's clear that we can't drag a nauseous Hazel on the subway, so James takes Cadence to school and we arrange a playdate with a classmate for the afternoon so he can collect her after he's done with class.  Cadence is ecstatic that she gets to go to school with just Baba and that she'll get to play, and bounds off in an awesome mood.  I stay home with the poor sick little baby.  You know what's NOT home?  Running water.   The building turned it off. I had just enough warning to fill all the teapots and pitchers and fill the tub to use for cleaning things up, but all that laundry we'd amassed the night before had to be put on hold...and I neglected to stop up the bathtub drain as we did during the hurricane, so by the time the water came back on, the tub was almost completely empty.  Luckily we make it through, and Hazel seems to improve by evening.  I get a text from Cadence's friend's mom saying no rush to pick her up 'cause they're having fun, and decide we've weathered the worst of the storm and start with the post-sickness deep cleanse. Hazel and I finally emerge from the shower scrubbed and fresh, and discover a voicemail on my phone.  We listen to it together; it's James, reporting that he's on his way to get Cadence, who evidently just threw up a couple times at her friend's home.  "Oh, no!" Hazels declares, meaningfully, "poor jie jie!  Jie jie come home, Stay."

Night Two:  James and Cadence, armed with some borrowed clothes and a disposable tupperware container, embark on a long and nauseating taxi ride home.  They arrive home sometime after 7:30, smelly and unhappy, and we get them washed off and start prepping for bed.  James is scheduled to host some friends for a guy's night this evening, and now it's too late to cancel.  My noble plan of getting the girls into bed before they arrive doesn't stand a chance, and the guys (who are, thankfully, all lovely people who are totally understanding of a little girl's plight) are greeted by a pale 4 year old huddled under a blanket occasionally wretching into a silver mixing bowl while I scramble to get some food into the now-hyper 20 month old with a new lease on life, who is insisting on rearranging furniture as James tries to clean a little bit for his friends.  I finally get everyone down, and spend a few hours tending to Cadence as she tries to get some rest between bouts of sickness...I will say, it is easier dealing with her illness since she's older and can ask for the bowl in advance, but the poor dear seems to be a bit more affronted by the experience, having amassed a bit more dignity over the years to be lost in the betrayal of her belly.  There was much more emotional fallout, if fewer sheet changes.  Until, that is, Hazel vomits in her sleep again. Since I foolishly thought she was done with that, she wasn't on a bed of towels and we are back to changing sheets, this time moving a queasy and definitely not sleeping Cadence around as little and as gingerly as possible to do so. Oi. I spend the rest of the night fussing over my two poor sick girls, a maniac with a big metal bowl and a pack of wetwipes.

Day Two:  In the morning, after Hazel bounces awake and right onto Cadence's tummy, Cadence stretches, smiles, and responds to my inquiry into how she's feeling with a jovial "good enough to get my own breakfast this morning!"  And they're off.  A bit weak, a bit fussy, and they both crashed into nap-land about an hour ago, but I think, knock on wood, we may have survived this round.  (as long as James and I don't get simultaneously sick while these two rebound into CRAZY HAPPY HEALTHY KID-dom.)

Before you know it...

ME:  (Singing) He knows when you are sleeping!  He knows when you're awake! He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness' sake! (speaking) I have that song stuck in my head, isn't that silly?

CADENCE:  Yes, it sure is.  Mom, can you sing it again, the whole thing?

ME: Sure!  (singing) You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why.  Santa claus is coming to town.  He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake! He knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness' sake! Oh, frosty...wait...so...santa claus is comin' to town...(speaking) pretty neat, huh?  kinda.  Hm.  What do you think about all that, Cadence?

CADENCE:  Oh, a lot.

ME:  A lot?!  Wow, that's cool...like what?

CADENCE:  Like, how I don't really think Santa is real, but everyone else does.

ME:  Oh really?  What makes you think that?

CADENCE:  I just think that Santa isn't really just one person, I think everyone is santa.  Everyone is really santa, because we all give each other gifts, even if we know. Everyone we know.

ME:  ...I really like your theory, Cadence.