Monday, November 14, 2011

sleeping dragons

Whenever I'm alone then there it is, this burning need to create, the art pulling, tugging and tearing at my soul, the agony of its absence a sacrifice I ensure to be there for my children, but I fear that I harm them more by not than I would by doing, I need to be there fully for them but a part of me is dead without my creation,

And as I contemplate there is Sankai Juku, their deathly hallows striking back at me from the highly effective advertisement for bam ( I want to hug and hire whoever made those damn things ) and I know it is as much a calling as it ever was, I am an artist, stunted, who needs desperately to create, and so I pine and think so hard I fall asleep

Only to wake to the rush of everyday life, when I can't find the time to brush my hair, let alone find safety for my charges while I enter that zone where raw creation can take place.

I need a better partnership in order to live this dream in my hands. I need to allow myself to need unapologetically.

It will come.  I know it will come.

It's just that sometimes, when those creatures writhe and stretch their claws within me, it's very hard to be patient.