Whenever I'm alone then there it is, this burning need to create, the art pulling, tugging and tearing at my soul, the agony of its absence a sacrifice I ensure to be there for my children, but I fear that I harm them more by not than I would by doing, I need to be there fully for them but a part of me is dead without my creation, And as I contemplate there is Sankai Juku, their deathly hallows striking back at me from the highly effective advertisement for bam ( I want to hug and hire whoever made those damn things ) and I know it is as much a calling as it ever was, I am an artist, stunted, who needs desperately to create, and so I pine and think so hard I fall asleep Only to wake to the rush of everyday life, when I can't find the time to brush my hair, let alone find safety for my charges while I enter that zone where raw creation can take place. I need a better partnership in order to live this dream in my hands. I need to allow myself to need unapologetically.
It will come. I know it will come.
It's just that sometimes, when those creatures writhe and stretch their claws within me, it's very hard to be patient.