Wednesday, August 28, 2013

First step...maybe?

Last night when we were (trying to) get the kids to fall asleep, Calliope crawled over to a not-yet-asleep Cadence, stood up on the mattress beside her totally unassisted, and then very slowly and deliberately raised her foot and stepped directly on Cadie-B's tummy, and tried to shift her weight onto that foot before cadence guffawed and she fell down. 

Does that count as a first step?

(Also this happened in the amount if time it took me to walk around the island in the kitchen to pick something up. Clearly we cannot leave the dishwasher open to dry anymore.)

They are all growing up so very fast. I can't keep up with everything and have been opting to spend time with them over writing here, which I don't regret for a second, but I am sorry I am not able to share more of their brilliant adventures-and that I won't have them to look back on when I've blinked and they've suddenly grown up and bounded off on their own splendid adventures.

I love these three well beyond measure.

Monday, August 12, 2013


The other day while we were on our way to the pool, Cadence and Hazel realized that the game that they were playing (in which Hazel was pretending to be a baby and Cadence was carrying her everywhere) wouldn't work while they were actually in the water. When I heard Cadence say "we could just like, slip into an epilogue and you could be older, and then we can go back to this when we're done" - and then Hazel happily agreed but pointed out that since that would be like the end, maybe she should just stay grown up afterwards...well let's just say that If they can have conversations like this at the ages of 6 and 3, I feel confident that they have very promising futures ahead of them.  

Thursday, August 8, 2013

The inevitable reality

I felt glad that I had opted for the "safe" route just in case. I heaved a slight sigh at the lack of adventure in my menu choice, but felt it was worth it for the stress and worry it would save. And i like burgers well enough; better sate than sorry.  That's when I noticed; sesame seeds.  And that's when it hit me. This is going to be a bit rough. But at least we have answers.

After months of suspicion based on my own experience, and bouncing from doctor to doctor being told there was "no chance" that it was allergies, I finally held in my hand the results of a blood test performed two weeks ago. The doctor's scrawl across the cover page read "positive for sesame and nuts, beans." 

My baby is allergic.

This is something I have dreaded since before I became a mother, and have poured hours upon hours upon days reading about, researching, trying to feel out the best way to prevent my children from developing the issue my own genetic makeup has predisposed them to. In fact, it was the very thing that tipped the scales for me in feeling that I should not tempt fate by having any more biological children.

The fates were evidently meant to be tempted, however, because none of us could picture life without Calliope...she has already changed the World for the better. But, as in any proper Greek myth, when you tempt the fates, you usually lose, and in this, we lost.

Fortunately for my little muse, we are uniquely prepared to deal with this particular affliction, since I am, as one doctor put it "just an allergic individual," and have been dealing with allergies ranging from serious to mild since I was born, and I know how to manage them and what it takes to do so.  (In fact, in establishing myself as a patient with this same doctor, she had me retake a bunch of allergy tests to establish a baseline, and -after deciding they couldn't test for everything I seemed "at risk" for because it would require too many pricks-did a blood test for a few anomalous results. The cover sheet on my records, in stark contrast to Callie's, was a list of things that hey, between the skin prick test and the blood test, I might actually NOT be allergic to!  What were they? Almonds, Brazil nuts, and swordfish. Yup, all of three things.)

Anyway, this is both disheartening, and empowering. It's awful, but I also feel oddly able to roll with this. It feels almost inevitable, like I've been preparing for this my whole life and now here we go, game on, lets make it happen. And who knows, maybe within her lifetime, allergies such as these will become cure able, or at least less debilitating. God I hope so.

Callie's results went on to say that we need to avoid sesame, peanut, almond, cashew, pistachio, all other nuts, peas...and a note at the bottom says "she's slightly positive for lentils and soy. We'll repeat in 6 months."  So that's where we are at...I need to call the doctor and consult with her about the severity and specific course of action, but in the meantime we are looking at our family's diet and seeing some major changes that we will need to make. The nuts are actually easy, as I share all if those allergies to an anaphylactic degree, our home is already nut free. The peas, beans and sesame, however, have been a major staple, so this means some big changes. 

We are up to the task though. This little lady is more than worth it, and we are ready to take on this challenge. 

You have no idea how much love I have for you, Calliope. I am gonna do everything in my power to give you the tools to keep yourself safe for the the rest of your long, fulfilling life, baby girl. Your corner is stacked with some fierce advocates, and we won't back down. 

Enjoy the ride, my awesome child.