Thursday, August 8, 2013

The inevitable reality

I felt glad that I had opted for the "safe" route just in case. I heaved a slight sigh at the lack of adventure in my menu choice, but felt it was worth it for the stress and worry it would save. And i like burgers well enough; better sate than sorry.  That's when I noticed; sesame seeds.  And that's when it hit me. This is going to be a bit rough. But at least we have answers.

After months of suspicion based on my own experience, and bouncing from doctor to doctor being told there was "no chance" that it was allergies, I finally held in my hand the results of a blood test performed two weeks ago. The doctor's scrawl across the cover page read "positive for sesame and nuts, beans." 

My baby is allergic.

This is something I have dreaded since before I became a mother, and have poured hours upon hours upon days reading about, researching, trying to feel out the best way to prevent my children from developing the issue my own genetic makeup has predisposed them to. In fact, it was the very thing that tipped the scales for me in feeling that I should not tempt fate by having any more biological children.

The fates were evidently meant to be tempted, however, because none of us could picture life without Calliope...she has already changed the World for the better. But, as in any proper Greek myth, when you tempt the fates, you usually lose, and in this, we lost.

Fortunately for my little muse, we are uniquely prepared to deal with this particular affliction, since I am, as one doctor put it "just an allergic individual," and have been dealing with allergies ranging from serious to mild since I was born, and I know how to manage them and what it takes to do so.  (In fact, in establishing myself as a patient with this same doctor, she had me retake a bunch of allergy tests to establish a baseline, and -after deciding they couldn't test for everything I seemed "at risk" for because it would require too many pricks-did a blood test for a few anomalous results. The cover sheet on my records, in stark contrast to Callie's, was a list of things that hey, between the skin prick test and the blood test, I might actually NOT be allergic to!  What were they? Almonds, Brazil nuts, and swordfish. Yup, all of three things.)

Anyway, this is both disheartening, and empowering. It's awful, but I also feel oddly able to roll with this. It feels almost inevitable, like I've been preparing for this my whole life and now here we go, game on, lets make it happen. And who knows, maybe within her lifetime, allergies such as these will become cure able, or at least less debilitating. God I hope so.

Callie's results went on to say that we need to avoid sesame, peanut, almond, cashew, pistachio, all other nuts, peas...and a note at the bottom says "she's slightly positive for lentils and soy. We'll repeat in 6 months."  So that's where we are at...I need to call the doctor and consult with her about the severity and specific course of action, but in the meantime we are looking at our family's diet and seeing some major changes that we will need to make. The nuts are actually easy, as I share all if those allergies to an anaphylactic degree, our home is already nut free. The peas, beans and sesame, however, have been a major staple, so this means some big changes. 

We are up to the task though. This little lady is more than worth it, and we are ready to take on this challenge. 

You have no idea how much love I have for you, Calliope. I am gonna do everything in my power to give you the tools to keep yourself safe for the the rest of your long, fulfilling life, baby girl. Your corner is stacked with some fierce advocates, and we won't back down. 

Enjoy the ride, my awesome child.