Proud Mourning

This morning, my intrepid young lady embarked on her very first solo journey into growing up.  She took the school bus, on her own, to her brand new school, for her very first day of first grade.

I am so insanely proud of her.

Its just first grade.  But you guys...it's FIRST GRADE!  Now she'll be all busy all the time until she moves out. :-(

But Oh Emm Gee I missed her so damn much.

I texted a couple friends after she left and I started getting physically dizzy.  They both assured me it was normal.  One suggested a stiff drink.  It's amazing how addicted one gets to one's own children, especially when you stay home and are so involved and trying to let nature steer the general rhythm of your relationship.  All day something deep in my chest kept jumping up my throat growling "this. Is. Not. Natural."

I think the fact that blue school felt so much like home mitigated that factor. But now that we are at a public school and I just have to stick her on a bus and send her away...well it triggers a very existential sort of mommy angst.

Cadence's was not the only first today...James also had his very first day as a judicial clerk today! Even after spending the day being overheated, dried out, over tired and even motion sick on the train, he still came home feeling excited and optimistic about the job, so...HOORAY!! 

Cadence had to leave before James, but she wanted to see him all dressed up in his suit.  James and Hazel took this pic in her honor-they are striking a classic Cadence pose.  

So of course, this was also a first for the rest of us - the first day we've had without them around.  My mom, Hazel, Calliope and I had a very nice day, but we all missed our adventurers.

This is gonna take me a little while to get used to.  Luckily I have things like this to make me smile all the time.

(Goodness knows what will become of me when Calli heads out the door...)

How can you not smile when this is what lunchtime looks like?