Tuesday, March 24, 2015

A glimpse into my reality

A brief narration of how I spent my evening:

I took the cat to the vet and (since I got stuck in traffic both ways) got home kinda late. The little one was really fussy and just wanted me to pick her up, but I needed to feed everyone, so I bargained with and reassured and entertained her as best I could while I got dinner ready. She was done before I was even finished serving, and just wanted me to pick her up...but I hadn't eaten yet and didn't have a chair, so James let her sit in his lap, and she ate my food while I got drinks/napkins/more heat for the big kids' dinners. After a while I relented and picked her up and held her while I tried to eat a bit...but I wasn't more than a few bites in before James (who is currently out of commission due to a nasty injury and subsequent surgery) called for me because the toilet was overflowing in the hall bathroom. He had heard water running and went in to check; it must have been going on for a while because by the time I got in there the whole bathroom was flooded.

So I shut off the valve and quickly got to work plunging etc. and then set about the cleaning process. I decided I might as well clean the toilet bowl while I was at it, and if you are already doing one toilet, ya might as well do both, so I put the cleaner in the bowls to set while I sopped up all the dirty water and put all the affected small items like the step stool and combs and bath toys that had been affected into the tub to be cleaned...when I heard James and the little one making a mad dash to make it to the potty on time. Realizing I was cleaning the toilets and not wanting her to splash the cleaner onto herself, James stuck a wholly offended 2 year old into the (other) tub so she could pee in the drain, since this was clearly an emergency situation. She was NOT having it. She screamed. she wailed. She did not pee. I tried to finish cleaning the toilets as fast as I could. James - who, mind you, is currently a one-armed non-bendable creature who has instructions from the surgeon not to lift more than a pound -tried to carefully lift her to transfer her to a more desirable location so she could finally relieve herself, but the pressure of the awkward lift combined with all the screaming  she was doing was too much for her poor little bladder, and she loosed its contents in mid air, no longer neatly controlled right over the drain, this pee went on the adventure of a lifetime- exploring every dimension of the bathtub, even the outside, and the surrounding floor, and the bath mats and stools and...so I finished cleaning the toilets to the dulcet tones of utter humiliation and discontent, and then set about washing off The kidlet. She didn't much like that part, either. Cleaned and wrapped in a towel, I sent her off to sit by the fire with James while I cleaned up THIS bathroom. Scrubbed the floor, cleaned the tub, whoohoo, it's all clean!

Now back to the original task at hand; cleaning up after the broken toilet in the first bathroom. Finding the steam mop broken, I scrubbed that place by hand, and then stuffed all the towels, bath mats, rags, my clothes...anything that had been in contact with anything in this encounter into the washing machine.

Next up, I got into the shower to wash off all the contaminated stuff I'd tossed into the tub. I wash it all off and am finally ready to wash myself off.

Now is probably a good time to mention that I have a skin condition that necessitates that I limit my contact with water, ESPECIALLY hot water, and I realized about halfway through washing myself off that after all this I should probably try to avoid getting wet for a while...which means that I wouldn't be able to help James wash himself off later, so I called him in to let him know and we decided he should get cleaned off, too. At this point I've been in the Luke warm water long enough that my fingers are sluggish and I'm shivering, so I turned up the heat to try to warm up. It was too hot for James, though, so I turned it back down and shivered through getting him cleaned off and then rushed through my necessary post-shower moisturizing routine...meanwhile, the little one was screaming again, this time just outside the bathroom door, and as I becon her to come in so she wouldn't have to be alone, I smelled something....and she confirmed that she needed to poop, and had an accident but she didn't know where. Sure enough, while rushing her to the other bathroom (the one with the working toilet) it became clear that she had started off in there, and then ran to try to get help, leaving a sad trail of poo all along the way.

So I left her to do her duty on the toilet and went back to clean up all the poop. And then of course I cleaned the kid off. And then scrubbed everything down. And put more stuff in the washing machine. And then I got the kid dressed. And then I got myself dressed. And then I got the kids to bed despite my hands having lost all their elasticity. (My palms are shiny!!)

And emerged from the bedroom to realize; it was 10:30pm and I hadn't yet had dinner.

Giant bowl of blueberries and cream for dinner! 

Yeah, it may be crazy sometimes, but I got this. ;-p