Adventures in Home Schooling: The Kick-off

NOTE: THIS IS AN UNFINISHED DRAFT. I rediscovered this recently and decided it was worth sharing, despite the woefully incomplete state...you'll notice I never actually even made it to a mere mention of the subject the heading suggested. (Originally I was going to do a post about that first week and how it transitioned into our homeschooling...but it was long and unwieldy and I spent more time working with the kids than writing about it, which ended in my neglect of this post.) At this point (a year and a half later) I no longer feel I would be able to complete it, so I am back-posting it to the original date when I last worked on it and leaving it as I found it. Enjoy.

Hazel in her element: right at home once again at the Blue School

Last week, I took the girls on a Megabus adventure to NYC so that they could have a chance to get to know their teachers and classmates from the get-go, as everyone else was getting to know one another, in the hopes of establishing a close relationship with the classroom and reducing the "new student" stress once they return full time in the new year.

It was a very full (and exciting!) week, and while I'd hoped to do a day-by-day breakdown in real time, the reality of the couch-hopping-and-friend-seeing-AND-school lifestyle we adopted during that time made it pretty impossible, and unfortunately this will have to be a less than thorough summary of the awesome events that took place during Cadence's first week of Kindergarten and Hazel's first day of school ever.

Partially due to the nature of our couch-hopping existence and the fact that we ended up running late on our first day (facepalm!), I didn't really get to do the "first day of school" photos that I had been hoping to catch.  One of our gracious hosts snapped this photo for me as we waited for the bus Monday morning:

Cadence with Mama & Meimei, on her way to her very first day of Kindergarten!
(Ignore Hazel's backwards shoes.  She insisted.)

It was kind of exciting (and exhausting) to suddenly be jolted back into the "get-up-and-go" schedule of  the school-year routine.  But the kids were thrilled - Even though Hazel's first day wasn't until Wednesday, she was SO HAPPY to be going back to blue school and seeing all the friends she has there.  We got to try several different commutes and methods of transport during the week, and we kicked it all off with what is affectionately referred to as the "party bus" by many of our friends...it's simply a certain route of the city bus that a bunch of Cadence's classmates happen to live near, and due to the nature of schedules, many of them end up on the same bus in the mornings by chance.  Clearly, our ladies loved it:

Ridin' the bus to school! 

Unfortunately for us, we arrived late and missed the community meeting, and I just had time to tap Mara, one of Cadence's new teachers, on the elbow to let her know I was there before Cadence hopped into the line of her classmates that was already disappearing up the stairs and they were gone!  In true Cadie fashion, though, she took it in stride and rolled with it  - and when we picked her up at the end of the day, teachers Mara and Nancy informed me that she gleefully integrated into the class without any problems at all.  I'm never surprised by reports like this, but I am consistently amazed.

Hazel and I then got to go to JACK'S!!!  (She was more than a little happy about this.) Luckily for us, our friends Josie (who is sadly not in Hazel's class, but is in the one immediately prior and has the same teachers) and her mom Kate were able to meet us there, and we all walked over to the Imagination playground, where Hazel and Josie got a jump-start on the water curriculum their classes will be delving into.  On the way there, we happened to run into Dina, one of their teachers!  She was between home visits (the 2s program kicks off with the teachers visiting the children in their own homes, which is great, as the kids get to meet their new teachers in a safe, familiar environment where they are in control, and also get to share their favorite things, activities, places, etc. with this person who is going to be so important in the coming year...Hazel, obviously, didn't get to have this experience since we're out of state, but this isn't a huge tragedy since she's known Dina for two years now, and she got to know her other teacher, Tara, last year, and already likes them both.) Anyway, this was a particularly nice run-in since it let Hazel reconnect with Dina before being dumped into a room with a bunch of new kids, and have a 'fake mini-home-visit' where she got to tell her about living in DC and coming to NY for school...it was a brief encounter, but a very positive one, and it was especially fun to go from that to this:

She didn't want to get her dress wet.  Pants, evidently, were fair game. She would jump off the deck there and then run to try to catch the water, and seemed fascinated by the blurby bubbles of low-pressure jets.

When we picked Cadence up at the end of the school day, she was all smiles and was SO pleased to be there, and to show me her 'mailbox' cubby where we could pick up her work, and to tell me all about getting to meet the kids who were new to the school and reuniting with old friends.  All in all, I'd have to say that her first day was a huge success, even if I can't provide details about what made it so awesome for her.  And as much as that is strange to me, it's awesome that she was able to have such a great experience just being sort of unceremoniously plopped in like that.  I was very proud of her.

Moving on to Hazel's first day, things didn't go quite as smoothly, but I think the results were still positive in the grand scheme of things.

First off, I should preface this by pointing out that, while this was Hazel's official first day of school, she has technically kinda been coming to classes here for the last two years.  She was a mere 4 months old when Cadence started at the blue school (as part of the 3s program), and due to the geographical distance & timing of everything, there wasn't really enough time for me to actually go anywhere while Cadence was in class, so most days Hazel & I would kick around the school...we'd hang out in the multipurpose room and 'help' Connie at the front desk, or read books and play in the "parent nook", or, if there wasn't anyone in the space already, we'd explore the "glow hall" together...and the more we were there, the more we got to know the staff, faculty, and families that made up the community.  By mid-year, we were invited to join in a class or try out some new activity almost daily...it was a gift I will forever be grateful for.  Hazel got soooo much out of that first year, what with all these amazing people strolling by, who would watch her exploring whatever new aspect of her development was currently capturing her interest, and then sit down and interact with her - the mutual inspiration was often palpable.  Some teachers even started talking about how much they longed for the school to start an infant program and would let hazel 'test run' some of the ideas they had for such an endeavor!

While we got to see and know kids from all of the age groups hard at work, there were two major strongholds in Hazel's "school" experience there:  One was, obviously, Cadence's 3s class.  At that time, the teachers made a point of bringing the grown-ups into the room for the end-of-the-day transitions, so we'd get to join them in a circle on the rug and hear about all they'd done that day, and sing the goodbye song together.  Since she was always with me, little bitty Hazel was always part of this, too, and it wasn't long before she'd show interest in what the 'big kids' were doing, and favoring the companionship of the teachers over me for the few minutes we were in there...and it was always difficult to get either of those two out of the classroom.  They loved being there SO MUCH.

The other major stronghold of her experience was the welcoming environment established by the 2s teachers at the time.  They first began to include Hazel just when we happened to be in a space they arrived in-music class in the multipurpose room, for example.  But as time went on, and we all got to know each other better, we started getting invited into the classroom itself pretty regularly...It was mutually beneficial, since many of the kids in the 2s that year were expecting new siblings at home, and the teachers recognized that it might be useful (and of interest) for them to get to observe and interact with a baby before the big arrivals, and Hazel, of course, didn't see herself as any different from those big kids and jsut wanted to play and get to do what they did...and as any parent can tell you, kids learn more and faster from peer-to-peer learning than they do from mom & dad saying "hey look here" 'til they're blue in the face, so getting to see how they all behaved and explored was pretty awesome.

While I tried not to overstay our welcome during any one visit or be too presumptuous or in the way during those visits, Hazel quickly came to see the kids in the 2s classes (there were two separate classes that regularly met during the time when we'd be hanging about) as 'her kids'.  Two years later, we are still happy to see those kids when they pass us in the hall, or get to join them at the playground...it's pretty amazing to watch them growing and blossoming.  Some of them are still very attached to Hazel as well, and always make a point of greeting her whenever they see her.

When Cadence joined the 4s last year, we figured we'd actually have time to go home between drop off and pick up.  This didn't end up working out in practice, in part because the school moved into its new, permanent home, and the newly extended commute meant that Hazel and I would have spent about three hours a day riding the subway...and that seemed like a disservice to her.  So, instead, we got to know the new waterfront neighborhood very well, taking advantage of the early warm weeks to wander around and explore, watching the boats and visiting the historical locations. When the weather got cold, we began to stall a bit, waiting for inspiration before just wandering, and over time we fell back into our previous pattern of putzing about the school, visiting with people there, observing the kids as they transitioned from one space to another, taking advantage of the new library, construction lab, terrarium displays, peg-board, and glow halls when they were not being used by classes.

There is a really cool playground near the school called the Imagination Playground. It was designed by the Rockwell group, the same architecture firm that is designing the interior spaces of the new school building.  They're a pretty cool group who are committed to studying the effect of environment on the developing brain and putting their findings into practice!  The school uses The imagination playground as its go-to outdoor space for the kids to run and play - but it is a short walk from the school building, and as such the youngest groups must have extra adult supervision to safely (and legally) make the trek over there.  Since we were almost always just kickin' around there anyway, Hazel and I began to go to the park with Cadence's class every time they went

It's hard to get Cadence to tell me about her days, but she did report back to me about a number of things that she enjoyed, which I am hoping to be able to incorporate into our own studies...Specifically, she enjoyed getting to do drama, music, resting, playing, gym, the whole class going to the park, the roles within the classroom (like door holder) monday journals and science journals...

"mine had a lot of music!"-Hazel

A New Kind of Milestone

There are many milestones is growing up/parenting, but I find this one particularly striking.  It was not one I expected to see taking place quite so soon, and certainly not one I sought out, but as often happens with child-led education techniques, curiosity gave way to major advances:  Cadence can now clean the cat litter box.

James has traditionally been in charge of that particular chore, due in large part to my (evidently frequent) pregnancies [note for the uninitiated:  pregnant women are 'not supposed' to do that chore due to the relatively small possibility of exposure to toxoplasmosis via the feline fecal matter...though single expectant moms with cats need not despair; proper hygiene, especially if you also use protective gear such as mask/gloves, usually eliminates that risk almost entirely.].  Lately, Cadence has taken an interest in watching him perform the task, and at some point last week, she came flying into the room to inform me that he had agreed that she was old enough to try doing it herself.  I can't explain how proud and excited she was...I think she's well aware of the level of responsibility this entrusts her with, more than actually wanting to deal with cat poop.  (Plus, I think our sometimes unusually fastidious kid also enjoys the idea that, if it is bothering her, she can now take matters into her own hands and do something about it.)

So, James taught her how to do it, and supervised as she tested out the new skill...but the real test came earlier this week, when James had to take a trip to NYC for a job interview, leaving the litter-cleaning task to us...and Cadence stepped forward and asked to be in charge of it.  All by herself.  (She made a great pitch, too, I have to say, citing the safety risks to her unborn sibling if I were to do it, as well as her experience and practice, which would allow her to fill a needed niche...I have high hopes for her ability to write good cover letters when she eventually starts looking for jobs!) We agreed, though we assured her that it wasn't so dangerous that I couldn't help her if she needed it, and she amicably agreed to accept help if it came down to that.  

We needn't have worried...she did an AMAZING job...careful, clean, thorough...right down to scrubbing her hands well afterwards.  The only thing I had to do was to talk her out of doing it three times a day, which was mostly because I worried that having people mess with their privy so often would upset the cats!  She was proud, I was proud, Hazel was proud, and of course James was proud when he heard ALL ABOUT IT upon his return.

Cadence and Lily share a moment

Lady-B is certainly growing up!  I continue to be amazed by her every single day.  I am so super-duper proud of that kid.  

Adventures in Home Schooling: Wait, What??

"Well, it looks like we're gonna have to move..." is how James broke the wonderful news that he had landed the fellowship that he so desperately wanted.  It was May, and I was with some friends at Jack's Stir Brew Coffee (Hazel's favorite restaurant ever!) around the corner from the Blue School when he called me to share the fabulous news that he would be working as a Tax Policy Fellow at the US Treasury beginning as soon as he finished taking the dreaded Bar Exam.

James has always wanted to work in the public interest in some manner, and was somewhat dismayed when he learned that he actually really, really liked tax law - and in fact had a pretty good knack for it.  As you can imagine, there aren't too many options out there that combine those two things, so when this fellowship came along seemingly tailored exactly to his dream career, taking it was an absolute no-brainer - even though it meant uprooting our little family and undertaking the expense of doing two (well, as it turned out, three) interstate moves in less than a year, during which time we'll be welcoming yet another child to our crazy little awesome existence.

Anyway, this is how we find ourselves living just outside of DC for the first half of Cadence's Kindergarten year.

Since we're headed back to NYC in January for the second half of the fellowship (wherein James will be returning to NYU once again to obtain yet another degree-this time an LLM in tax law), we decided to keep the girls enrolled at the school that has meant so much to them over the past several years...and yes, I do mean BOTH of them, since Hazel is now old enough to actually become an official student, after spending two years as the "blue school mascot!" and "mayor of blue school".

So, while they will both definitely be returning to their beloved Blue School in January, this left us with the question of what to do for the fall semester.  We're currently residing in Maryland, where, by law, Cadence must be enrolled in school due to her age.   We considered sending her to the local public school down here, which would give her a taste of a very different kind of school experience, would give her something to do, and would give her the opportunity to be around kids her own age and make some new friends...However, this also had the disadvantage of being a rather limiting option...to Cadence, who would be sitting in a classroom for most of her time down here, but much more so to Hazel and I, who (due to timing, location, and our lack of a car) would be stuck in the apartment just waiting for the school bus for most of our time here, and none of us would really have the option of taking advantage of all that DC has to offer.

So, in the end, we decided to take a bit of a different course, and I'm very excited to announce the latest of our family adventures:  Home School.

The teachers at Blue School have been AMAZING, and are working with me to make this all happen. I have registered to be a home school instructor (got my signed papers 'n everything!) so it's all nice and legal, and the plan is to  build a curriculum that is somewhat parallel to what they are doing in the classroom in New York, but to incorporate as much "DC-ness" as possible into it - mainly by taking advantage of all the amazing resources we have down here...The zoo, the Smithsonian(s), the myriad other museums, national monuments, and unique history this place has to offer.  During this time we will be checking in with the class via this blog, e-mail, skype and all the wonderful new media technologies available to us in this day & age...Basically we're viewing ourselves as the classroom ambassadors to DC, and I am SO EXCITED to get this opportunity to learn along with the kids, and to spend this time with them...

I am going to be documenting the work we do together here on this blog, and the reasons behind it are kinda four-fold.

1.)  Because I am required by the state to provide a portfolio documenting the work we've done together, to prove that I am providing consistent, thorough, and adequate instruction, and I figure this could serve that purpose.
2.)  Because documenting the work we do together is consistent with the Blue School philosophy & culture, and will allow us to more easily share and communicate our work with the teachers and students in the classroom there.
3.)  Because this is going to be an exciting, unique time in our family history, and I think this could be an excellent way to preserve it for posterity - it'll be an awesome thing to share with these guys when they're much older.
4.)  Because I'd like to share our experience with others who are interested in home schooling for whatever reason...I imagine this is going to be a bit of a trial & error type process, and it's going to be challenging, but I also think it's going to be a worthwhile endeavor whether we end up loving it or hating it.  I also just love the idea of putting out there the idea that there are always alternatives to the traditional school format if that just really doesn't work for your family (which it wouldn't for ours) and to share our own experience in the hope of inspiring others to find creative ways to get what THEY want for their own family when it comes to education.

Since this introductory post has run a bit long, I will leave it here for now.  Check back tomorrow for our inaugural Adventures in Home School documentation post in which we will share some of the pictures and ideas from our trip to NYC last week, where the girls got to attend the first full week of school alongside their classmates, getting to know their new peers and teachers right along with everyone else!

10 years!

10 years ago today, I moved into my first NYC domicile and met a group of friends who would prove to be some of my best for years to come, and whom I still hold near even if we seldom see each other.  Chief among them was the boy who would become my husband, and I couldn't be more grateful to have him in my life.

James, I am so glad that we both so uncharacteristically acknowledged and pursued our interest in that first week, and I am amazed and humbled by the journey we have been on ever since.  We've experienced life together and on opposite sides of the ocean; we've gone through some really tough times and learned so much from them; we've gotten married, adopted our cats, pursued careers, and now we are expecting our third(!!!) child while being constantly amazed by the two we've got running circles around us already...Thank you for being my partner in all of this, my love, I am so grateful to have you, and to be able to grow with and around you, and I look forward to many more adventures in the years to come.

Happy 10 years, James!!

The first photo ever taken of the two of us. (Thanks Nilsa!) I think this was an hour or so before we officially started dating...8/30/2002

Olympic eye-opening

The girls have discovered synchronized swimming this morning, thanks to the olympics...it combines two of their absolute favorite things ever:  Swimming, and Dancing. They are mesmerized.

Thinking that it's really cool doesn't stop the amusing imagery, though...Cadence's response to the first extended section where there where two performers suspended upside down in the water, kicking their legs above the surface was: "They look like a cow that's sinking in the water and stuck on its back!"

Perfectionist's Lament

"I can't! I CAN'T I can't I can't I can't!" she shrieked, a heartbreaking refrain that I recognize all to well...

She was trying to draw a horse. She DREW a horse...a horse that I glanced toward and recognized instantly.

She is two years old, and here it was; this glorious, beautiful, actual HORSE drawn on the page in front of her, orange crayon somehow managing to do justice to the amazing animal and its power.

Two.

Some kids can't do any representational drawing until four.  And Here was my Hazel, at two years old, with this miracle horse that she had created; and then immediately lamented.

It wasn't -from her perspective - good enough.  It wasn't perfect.  It didn't look like the horse in her mind; the horse and the magic she wished to portray and to share with all of us; the beauty and strength and power it clearly represented to her tiny enormous heart...

And so she wailed, and shrieked, and hated her work, her abilities, herself.

My heart crumbles and dies each time I find myself in the trenches attempting to guide her through it. The pain and anguish and frustration is visceral and real...and I remember, so well, exactly what it feels like to wish you were capable of giving up.  To be ok with mediocre, to not notice or care about each screaming flaw...but she can't see herself, her work, her greatness through my eyes.

At two years old she hates herself for not being able to do it right - a 'right' which is a standard held only by her Self, and none other...I can't stand to see it.  It hurts me to the core because I do not want any of my children to ever hurt so deeply, especially from a self-inflicted wound.

My hopeful power and goal is to provide her with the tools she needs to navigate these dark woods before the dark of adolescence hits.  Before the depression that runs deep on both sides of her family can take hold of a vulnerable teenage brain and ruin her for herself, I want to teach her how to be ok and to love because of her heart, her dreams, her thoughtfulness, her deviousness, her spark, her flaws, her loves, her SELF - and not merely because of her superb little hands producing perfectly perfect "perfect."

Living with precocious kids

Yesterday, the 2 year old decided she wanted "more cookies!" and set off on an adventure to find some.  I didn't stop her, despite the fact that it was right before dinner and not a cookie-appropriate moment, since I knew there weren't any left.  She came in to report her findings to me with a cheerful "There's no more, Mama!  No More!  Guess I just have to eat the thing I see."  What was that, Hazel?  "What I see!  The thing that I see.  I just eat that, because there are no more cookies, we ate them all up." Oh, ok...um, what did you see?  At that moment my attention was called away, and Hazel snuck off to the kitchen.

A few moments later, Hazel began to shriek and she started shouting "No, Pepper, NO! Don't eat it, NO! PEPPER NO!!!"

Of course I jumped up and raced into the kitchen, where I came upon a scene that explained everything.  We had made a batch of 'home-made oreos' the day before to take to a dinner we were going to, and there had been some leftover filling which I'd left in the fridge overnight.  This had proved to be a mistake, as the fats solidified and the 'frosting' had turned into a rock, so I'd left it on the counter to warm up a bit and soften while I worked in the other room.  This enticing bowl of cookie filling is evidently "the thing" that Hazel saw, and she had dragged a step stool over to the counter to retrieve it. She'd set the (comically large) bowl down on the floor so she could climb down after it, and in the meantime, Pepper, seeing a giant bowl of buttery deliciousness in her territory, thought she'd hit the jackpot and had rushed over to gobble it up.  So this is the scene I walked into:  the two year old waving her arms in a panic while standing on a step stool watching the dog and a giant bowl of frosting she'd obviously meant to have for herself at her feet.

I couldn't help myself, and actually burst out laughing.  I was equally impressed, amused, and dismayed...it was so mischievous and cute of Hazel to quietly set about getting the sweet stuff without help (or permission) and such good problem solving in how to get at it, and so sad the way the plans had been foiled by the dog...and also sad for pepper, who didn't understand why she couldn't keep her prize (Good news:  I took it away, she's still alive!) ...it was a classic moment, if I do say so myself.

Oh, and to top it all off, the 5 year old was in the other room at the time "writing a book.  It's a chapter book."  What's it called?  "The Nature of Science."

Aww, her first treatise!