Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Bloody, ah, tuesday.

Yesterday, in contrast with it's predecessor, was not so much sunshine and flowers as it was very very bloody. (Yes, be forewarned, this is a TMI post.)
The fact of Cadence's growing up was remarkably evident throughout everything that made yesterday so, ah, sangrious. The first part of it all was simply the fact that Cadie has been nursing less and less as she's been growing and expanding her palate, and has finally weaned to the point that my body has decided to prepare for the possibility of another child. My period returned (after an admittedly nice respite of nearly two years) poetically on Cadence's birthday, but was polite enough not to interrupt the festivities. Yesterday, however, the gloves came off and she said "hey, party's over, girl! all bets are off! CHARGE!"
Honestly, I have been remarkably amazed at how much of a throwback to adolescence this fact of growing up has been. Perhaps I'm just out of practice, or perhaps it was stronger due to the whole pregnancy-breastfeeding-hormones-go-crazy thing, but I've been feeling (and acting) like a teenager again...which I'm sure has been terribly bemusing to my poor parents, who welcomed us back home only for me to revert to being a moody, snappy teen just as my little sister celebrates her 15th birthday. The physical aspects of the whole thing I'll spare you, suffice it to say that this particular occurrence of the feminine cycle was not so much akin to the graceful experiences I've had with it as a (relatively) mature woman as it was to the crisis of a young woman just figuring all of this out. I guess this is one more pregnancy symptom they don't warn you about until after it's happened. We don't talk about such things in this society, which I think is a tragedy, because it leaves every woman (and man, too, frankly) who goes through these kinds of trying experiences (or watches a loved one do so) feel like they're a freak of nature, and extremely, crushingly, alone. Which, frankly, is why I've chosen to talk about this so publicly. I also find it somewhat amusing, having settled down a bit, to think back over the past week and think of the hissy fits I've thrown and how, understanding what's been going on with my body, they make at least a little bit of sense now. (When you're a depressed teen, everything that doesn't fit perfectly with how you would have said something is tragically and dramatically offensive. James, your entry wasn't actually devastating and I'm sorry.) (Also, Kelly, if you're reading this, I'm sorry I started screaming obscenities because I couldn't get out of the car when we went to the drive in to see Wall-E. Dad, and everyone, I'm sorry I was a raging ball of anger that whole night...I was way out of line. I apologize.) So basically, my body is wonderful, and can do amazing things (like, oh, creating the most amazing baby-lady ever) but a side effect is that hormones can suck and really put you through the ringer. A little known fact: it actually takes your body a full two years to recover from each pregnancy. So I guess it shouldn't be so surprising that I've felt like I've been on a ship in a storm lately, but I admit it definitely caught me off-guard.
Anyway, the second part of the Cadie's-growing-up-and-there-is-blood is less nature's design. We made it a full year with no major injuries, just a bump or bruise here, an itty-bitty scratch there, but last night Cadence came tooth-to-stair with the dangers of mobility. Thankfully it was not actually too bad, but it was still heart wrenching to see our little lady with blood dripping from her mouth and big girl tears rolling down her cheeks. She had been running gleefully when she tripped, banging her upper lip/teeth on the stair in the hallway. She was a very brave girl, though, she cried and held onto mommy for a few minutes, but with the help from Pepper who gave her some puppy kisses, Jewels who gave her some nudges and gentle pets, and and alarmingly toxic-looking green freeze-pop, the only sign of our little trooper's trials were the bloodstains on mommy's shirt. It was a hard first for all of us, but having come through it, we know more than ever that our little lady is growing up, she's going to make mistakes and get hurt, and sometimes its going to be really hard, but each bump in the road will have new wisdom to teach, and mama and baba will always be there to help, but when it comes down to it, our Lady-B, she's going to be just fine.